Are we chasing being happy? Or pretending to construct a list of happy we think is ticking the boxes and will be approved of by our friends? How many of us know what being happy really is?
Finding happiness was something I went out on a mission to find in March 2007. The irony was this thought was to find happiness around me in my life. I thought I would be able to find it outside of me and within a couple of years I’d found the truth.
I started writing a list of happiness quotes and had a print out on my desk at work. If I came across a new one I would add it to the list. I went for my long coastal walks and dreamed of finding happiness, staring out to the sea and wishing.
The 12 months that followed saw my life turn upside down with my job, my relationship and through a bereavement. There was a lot to piece back together, except this time I did it for me, from within me.
Learning happiness from within has been a journey, and there’s no final destination either. We can’t go out and just ‘get happy’. Wanting to be like someone else isn’t your happiness. How will you ever know what that person’s happy is motivated by?
The happiness we see around us is associated still with things money can buy. Underneath and behind closed doors, are those things bringing long lasting happiness?
The Truth to Being Happy
You’ve heard the saying; ’truth hurts’ and I wonder whether this is what makes us afraid of the truth; our own truth. What if the real truth gives us a different happiness?
I read recently, “People who are happy have no need to show they are happy, they simply are and appear to have a glow about them.”
Being happy is a feeling within us, it’s about us connecting with our truth and being OK with the truth. The truth exists within us, but first we have to start by changing where we look for happiness.
Being Happy Inside
I found four simple ways to help me learn my inner happiness, which became the four belifehappy principles of give, play, love, learn. Each step being a daily or regular reminder to me; a check in point, today, tomorrow and everyday.
I also learned through deep breathing and relaxation what is was like to feel and be me, paying attention to what my mind was saying, what my emotions were telling me, and what my body was telling me. This awareness offers a sense of self of who we are. It allows us to make choices about whether we want to change how we are feeling.
To be happy is to recognise sadness, hurt, anger, guilt, and fear; ignoring them just allows them to store up within us. By acknowledging our feelings we can process them, and over time heal.
A happy person experiences their pain, and it lessens with the kindness, compassion and love of life they have chosen to embrace across their life.
Being Happy is a Choice
Happiness is a choice someone takes no differently to choosing to be fit and healthy. There is a lot of personal commitment to changing the way we live when we want to live with inner happiness for a lifetime. There is a lot to learn, accept and be. To choose today, tomorrow and everyday to live with love is the only truth we can have to being happy.
You choose your thoughts, your responses, your actions; you choose all your behaviour and it’s this self responsibility that awakens us to our inner happiness, so we can start ‘being’ happy again.
Emma Lannigan is the founder and author of happiness philosophy belifehappy and the four steps of give, play, love, learn. Emma delivers a workshop sharing insights into these four steps and how to apply them to your life, and you can read about Emma’s journey in her book: belifehappy: give. play. love. learn available on amazon or signed copies are available by contacting Emma directly.
If you would like support finding your inner happiness, Emma works 1:1 in person and online with coaching sessions.