Coping with unplanned life events and stay in control

Unplanned life events

Planning and preparing to create more time? What happens when there’s no time to plan? Unplanned life events come without any warning, so how do we cope with uncertainty?

When there are no warning signs or we have unconsciously decided to ignore them to protect ourselves; unplanned life events can create a big pause over our life. It is at this point we either choose to see these events as unfair or some of us have the belief a thought form or spiritual lesson is behind it. Whatever we believe, often when we are asked to face uncertainty, and live through it, we need to learn to have trust that we will travel safely and arrive at a place of certainty.

Questions with no answers

In any space of uncertainty it can feel like we’re in turmoil and yet we are still here and still breathing, so what do we do next? The instant questions of why is this happening? Why me? Why them? Why us? sends us into more despair and more uncertainty waiting for answers that no-one truly has an answer for.

Staying grounded and in control to help others

What we think and do during this initial time will help shape the next moments; no matter how tough the challenge. Staying grounded and centred means we can help those around us. This doesn’t mean ignoring our own feelings, instead it means we can stay in control of our feelings.

Happening to someone close

These unexpected events and situations are not always impacting us individually. It might be about someone close to us like a family member, friend or colleague. When it is news about someone else we can feel a sense of hopelessness because we want to help, yet we just don’t know how to or what to say.

Finding and reconnecting with our inner strength allows us to share this strength with others. This is the difference we can all make.

Below are three tools that can offer instant support when unplanned life events happen. We might not need them now but someone we know might need our help, so please share these if you think they will.

Reconnecting to our inner self and calm

This centred space helps our mind and body support us through difficult times. Being aware of where within our body we are breathing helps us focus, reconnect, ground and centre. When we feel stressed our breathing may be short and shallow, high up in our chest. To feel more in control and calmer we can guide our breathing deeper and into our lower abdomen, just behind our belly button.

Count slowly as you inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Pause and then exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Focus and Repeat.

Honouring our emotions

Acknowledging our feelings and emotions is very important during difficult times. Ignoring them and pushing them to the background leaves us feeling tense and exhausted. Allow space to cry, reflect, and rest.

Talk to someone

It can feel like the last thing we want to do, however talking helps in acknowledgement and acceptance of a situation, and helps us reach out for help and support. When we don’t feel like talking to someone we know, contact a GP or there are national charities with helplines or call the Samaritans. There are people who are trained to listen and can offer support.

We can’t plan for everything. We have no control over any external experiences, however always remember we have control over our own feelings and thoughts. Reconnecting and maintaining the connection with our inner happiness means we always have a set of tools, a safe space and learning space to help us manage uncertainty.


Do you feel like you have lost your connection to you inner happiness or maybe you would like to learn some ways to build up your connection? Find out more about working with Emma Lannigan and belifehappy and sign up to Emma’s e newsletters.

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